Dancing Alone

I cannot explain this loneliness that has invaded my heart lately.  It is dark, unlike the darkness of depression.  It is quite frankly scaring the crap out of me.  It is an unrest.  A tempest about to rage. The suppression that is felt in the eye of the storm.  A calmness not of peace but of impending doom.  Putting words to these feelings will be a difficult mission, for I can barely identify all that I am feeling and experiencing.  Maybe if I were a man with no scruples, I would just go buy a 1970 refurbished Firebird and have an affair with a women 20 years younger than I.  Maybe this is midlife stuff.  Or maybe this is more.  I will do what I know is right.  I will pray.  I will read God's word.   I will serve Him with my whole heart.  I will remember that I love Him more than life...and that THIS life is not all there is!