Practical Dance Steps (Updated)

My heart breaks for those suffering with this disorder.  I KNOW firsthand how debilitating this can be.  So I thought I might put together a little piece to recap some of the practical ways that I have dealt with my own disorder, in hopes that it may help someone.  I am no therapist, and as I will advise in this blog, therapists are great.  There are seasons where one just needs that professional help.  I know I did.  I would not be where I am without  a therapist, a fantastic preacher (who says he does not counsel, but my sessions with him were the best!), a psychologist, and most of all my best friend, Jesus who is intimately acquainted with sorrow. 

Symptoms of Depression

• Depressed mood most of the day; feeling sad or empty, tearful
• Significant loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable
• Significant weight loss (when not dieting) or weight gain; decrease or increase in appetite
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
• Agitation; or slowing down of thoughts and reduction of physical movements
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
• Poor concentration or having difficulty making decisions
• Thinking about death or suicide

  The case for medication

I hate medication.  I will always seek a more natural approach.  I am a staunch Netti pot user.  I love my herbal teas for all their healing properties.  Catnip makes the most calming tea...give some to your cat and you will laugh at its opposite effect.  So that being said, I will advocate that there is a time and a place for the natural options counterpart...chemicals.  Basically, if you have tried everything under the sun, but still find the symptoms of depression uncontrollable, it may be time for a drug.  I know that is not appealing to some.  Heck, it is not appealing to me.  I do know that short term, it is what got me over the worse depression of my life.  Prozac was what I was prescribed.  Prozac alone would have been useless.  But Prozac cleared my head enough to begin the work of intense healing.  WHILE on Prozac, I underwent therapy, disciplined my life, and learned skills to help me cope.  I could not have done it without it.  I was too far into that dark pit.  When suicide is the only viable option, it is time to take drastic measures.  That was where I was at.  As soon as I was able to cope, had learned some fantastic skills, and had a firm grip on the symptoms of this disorder so that I could be ready for the next time (and there is always a next time), I weaned off of the meds. 

Steps to Take

1. Go see your family doctor and get a complete blood work. Tell your doctor your symptoms and if you are adverse to taking medication, let him or her know.  You may have other problems that mask as depression that are easily fixed.  Along with my depression, I had thyroid disease.  My thyroid was completely inactive.  With thyroid hormone replacement, I at least had more energy.  It was a start. You may have a chemical imbalance.  You may have any number of problems that could be causing some or all of your symptoms. It is good to go armed with knowledge when fighting the enemy.  Knowledge is power.
2. Find someone to talk about your battle.  A therapist is highly recommended here especially if you suspect your depression has its roots in childhood experiences.  Some sorrows are locked so deeply within that it takes a professional to help you release those demons.  Also, if your childhood was one of abuse, poverty, violence, anger etc... than most likely the only thing your brain has known is the chemical imbalance of depression.  It is a slippery slope, and forever it will be the only track that train knows to ride.  Your job will be to recognize the start of the descent and know how to best stop your train.  Since I am a very spiritual person, I also spent time with my pastor.  He was wonderful.  He just let me ramble.  He says that he is not a counselor, but I beg to differ. He also would pray with me, sometimes when I could not or would not have the strength to pray for myself. Also find a friend you can trust...basically build an army. 
3. Vitamin D and B vitamins can help. 
4. Get outside.  Seriously the sunshine can make a huge difference.  If it is winter, you must find a way for your body to chemically react to that ultraviolet light.  I am not a proponent of tanning beds, but if you must, during the winter, go once a week.  It will be the best $5.00 you have spent. Besides, it is peaceful, especially if your life is categorized by chaos of children, high paced work or stress. Go, pray, soak up the light that God has created your body to need.
5. Keep an honest journal of your journey.  Write it all down.  I write creatively, but I have several journals that are full of my rambling.  Pour your soul out on paper.  It will be a great tool later to look at how you handled situations, both good and bad.  You might even be able to detect patterns.  Is my depression cyclical, is it circumstantial, is it consistent?
6. Exercise.  I know.  That takes discipline and energy, things you may not have during the darkest time of your depression.  Endorphins are reduced into the bloodstream when we exercise.  Endorphins are natural feel-good hormones. Do everything you can to put movement in your life.
7. Eat well.  Lower  your carb intake.  Up your veggie intake. Veggie based protein is best, or lean meat. 
8. Learn your triggers.  This is where journalling comes in handy. If you burst out in anger..write it down.  Write down the date, time, what proceeded the incident, what you did during the incident, and what you did afterwards.  Keep a record.  You may begin to see patterns develop.  Same with suicidal thoughts, uncontrollable crying...write your own behavior report.

These are what I have come up with after one cup of coffee this morning. If I think of more, I will update this.  Understand that this is work and war.  It is not easy.  Personally, I could not have begun the work without medication.  Medication did not dull me.  It did at first, but my body adjusted.  It was as if a fog lifted and I could see my situation a little more clearly.  I began therapy during my medication.  I would not recommend taking medication alone.  That would be like putting a band aid on a wound three inches deep. Pointless. And you and your therapist will know when it is time to wean.  I was on meds for three years, but I was in a very dark place.  I have not been on meds since.  I have come close, but by working and catching that train before it picked up downward speed, I was able find hope and ways to stop the blasted depression train.  My faith plays a huge role in this too.  When I am weak, He is strong.

If you are reading this blog, and you have comments, questions, or things that have helped you along in your journey, please take the time to comment.
 Much love, Julie

Update:
I understand that taking any of these steps can be monumental when you are chained down by tow of depression.  It is a killer pull, and I mean that literally.  May I make a suggestion?  Start that journal.  And if you write anything, at the end of the day write at least one thing that you did to combat the darkness...just one thing.  Go to sleep at night knowing that maybe you are still stuck, but you wiggled a little.  Last January, I began that proccess.  I found that one thing became two.  Two things became three.  And so on, untill habits became formed.  Circumstances did not get better, but I began to find my joy in living again. All without medication this time, although I was close to accepting the chemical fate.  I look back at those things and they are things such as:

• read my bible
• went for a walk
• served a friend
• wrote on my blog
• sometimes it was simply, "I am writing in this journal crying my eyes out, but hey, I am writing!"
• ate a healthy breakfast
• put on K-love and sang my heart out
• called a friend
• went to bible study with other ladies (I hardly knew these ladies, and now I love them dearly)
• shaved my legs (I know, silly but it was a step in the right direction, so I patted myself on the back.)

Those are just some things that I wrote, even when I wrote nothing else. But I could look over my days and say, "Lord, we have made progress.  I feel a little wiggle room.  We will start dancing in no time!  Thank you, Lord!"