Brave Poe

It is a beautiful morning in Washington state. Poe, my resident crow is sitting out here with me, chatting away with his "caw, caw, caw". I like this crazy bird. He loves our little garden pond. I love it that he has become familiar with me, as he and I are quite different.  I applaud his bravery. I need to branch out and befriend those who are completely different than I. It is not prejudice that keeps me away, but a sense of awkward shyness.  At 49 years of age,I would think I could overcome this flaw. But I still struggle. Poe, what is your secret?

Head in the Clouds

I remember when my mother used to say, "Julia Katherine Meyer, get your head out of the clouds!"  She was right.  I was a dreamer.  I was always daydreaming.  It was a habit that came from escaping the reality of what should not be for a child, the harshness of abuse.  Then even when I was not in that situation, it was a hard habit to break.  Lately, I find myself with my head in the clouds again.  Not because my circumstances are bleak, although I look around me, and my heart breaks for those who are suffering, for just the state of the world in the light of the Boston Marathon bombings. That hate and that sorrow that has come from lives lost and people injured.  It is simply horrendous.  So my head goes to the clouds, and I find myself thinking more and more of Heaven.  Is that natural?  I just wonder all the time.  I have my glimpses from scriptures that tell us what Heaven will be like.  I wonder what it will be like to dance before my Savior at last. Finally to see the one who has held me for so long, and  to at last, be able to hold Him.  I wonder what it will be like to stand beside my mother and Sati's departed wife and the many saints who have gone on before me, and with them to sing praise to the Lamb, the One who has brought us all to this place.  I wonder; I wonder; I wonder...  And sometimes, I want the Lord to come...today...quickly...But there are so many who are lost.  There are so many who don't know.  So many who don't even know how to put their heads in the clouds.  I wonder and stand in amazement.  So one more day...one more step on this journey, but may I take my heads out of the clouds long enough to show the love of Jesus and to heal the hurt around me.

Changes

Wow.  I just realized that it has been over a year since I posted on this blog.  It has been a busy year full of changes.  I have moved across the country.  I have acquired a second family.  This came about by reconnecting with an old friend, and this time around it seems there is a bit more than friendship between us.  I wonder now why I did not say "yes" to this man 15 years ago.  He once asked me, a lifetime ago if he could kiss me.  My reply, "No.  If you do, you might fall in love with me, and that cannot happen."  I remember feeling unworthy of this dear saint of a man.  I also remember feeling that possibly I was not enough, not strong enough, not flexible enough, just somehow less.  I know that I was deceived by the enemy of my soul. Now, I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  I have lived a lifetime between then and now.  I have grown.  I have discovered a bit more of who I am in Christ.  And yet, I have not arrived.  I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds me. 

Hold on to your faith.  Hold on to those you love.  Feel the breeze in your hair.  Breathe deep of life.  And if you need a hand to hold, then grasp tightly to love. 

I will try to write a bit more in the future.
Julie